Thursday, September 1, 2011

Fish Story

People on our planet have such a hard time getting along with each other, imagine what it would be like if other inhabited planets were close enough for interaction. Oh, I know science fiction writers have been imagining that for years. The title “Star Wars” puts our expectations for the outcome of interplanetary contact succinctly: wars. If we can’t get along with each other on our own planet, how could we possibly expect to get along with entities from out there somewhere? The intelligent designer was certainly intelligent to space inhabited planets, if they exist, out through space-time beyond the possibility of contact.

Let’s say an advanced civilization somewhere was actually able to send some scouts to earth and they landed at Rolling Fork boat ramp on Lake De Queen. You had just loaded your boat back onto the trailer and were looking forward to cleaning and frying up a pretty good mess of bream and crappie. You felt a strange and unusual desire to go sit at one of the picnic tables in the shade for awhile before pulling out, and as soon as you did so a little greenish blue man who spoke perfect south Arkansas language through a little box in his throat popped out from behind a pine tree and you two had this conversation:

Greeny: Hello, I’m here from far away on a research mission and I wanted to ask you a few questions if I may.
You: Sure.
Greeny: Why did you take them fellows from their homes in the lake and put them in your aquatic vehicle?
You: Two reasons really, sport and food.
Greeny: You eat them fellows from the lake? And you enjoy slaughtering them?
You: Well, we don’t consider it slaughter. It’s fun to lure them onto a hook and feel them fight as you pull them in. And they taste great fried up.
Greeny: Do them fellows from the lake ever win the fight?
You: Only if we eat too many of them and get indigestion. I guess they win in a way if you look at it that way. Sometimes they get away. Especially the big ones. Everyone has a story about the big one that got away. Often these stories are not true and the size of fish gets exaggerated regularly.
Greeny: So people on this planet say things that are not true to impress other people with their ability to be good sportsmen and gluttons?
You: No, you are missing the point. We tell things that are not true to entertain the listeners. Most people with any sense don’t believe stories about the big one that got away, they just enjoy hearing it. They are entertained by the extravagance of the lie. Let me ask you a question, do y’all fish where you come from?
Greeny: We ARE the fish and I consider myself the big one that got away--way away.
You: How can you breathe air if you are a fish?
Greeny: Air is water where I come from. I hope you have been entertained by that whopper.

No comments:

Post a Comment